I am 25 weeks pregnant, so I don’t know if anyone would qualify me as a mom yet, but I think that you become a mom throughout pregnancy. Usually, moms are older and have been married for a while when they have kids. I have had the title of “wife” for only a week and a half now. I am still in the process of notifying all the places I need to notify about my name change! That has not been fun. I am so happy to have a shorter name! But having to go to endless amounts of places to officially change my name has been time-consuming. Not only am I a wife, I am a student in college, and have one more week of classes left before I take the fall off to give birth to Xander. In November I’ll get to add “Mom” as one of the many adjectives to describe who I am.
I am honestly shocked at how excited I am to be a mom. I remember when Jak and I met, during the first three months of dating he had already decided he wanted to marry me, and I was so taken with how quickly he knew I was the one (I also thought he was the one but I was too shy to let him know at that point). I also thought it was funny that he wanted kids by 25! I was like, “I can do kids by 30.” I think we compromised on 27 to start a family. Funny how things end up though. We are both 23, finishing school. Not exactly how I imagined us starting a family, but I couldn’t be more ecstatic. When I think about what it means to be a mom, I think, “Loving, caring, protective, nurturing, and supportive.” When I think about what it means to be a wife, I think, “Loving, protective, cheerleader, supportive, teammate, etc.” I know that many people talk about how when kids enter the picture marriages tend to fall apart. I do have my worries about how the stress will affect Jak and me, but I think that because we are in such a great place in our relationship, we will be able to handle the stressors.
This weekend we are supposed to set up Xander’s nursery, or at least set up what we have so far for him. I honestly can’t wait to set up his area. We have things for Xander all over the place! I just want to set up his area, so I know where everything is and can feel more relaxed (and more organized) knowing everything is in the right place. Jak isn’t exactly the most organized, so our place tends to get cluttered.
I have always gotten along with my dad better than I have with my mom. I simply think it came down to personality types. My dad and I are both reserved, shy, and intelligent. My mom and Jak actually are more alike! Jak and my mom are both extremely creative, big idea people, and full of life. My dad and I are more cautious, and my mom and Jak are more risk takers. I think that is why my mom and dad and Jak and I make great teams, we balance each other out. I told Jak, “I don’t know how to be a mom! I know how to be a dad, but not a mom!” Jak laughed at me when I told him that. He understood I meant that I know how to follow in my dad’s footsteps better than my moms. I am the one who is organized, the one who takes care of bills, who sets appointments and reminds Jak when they come up. I follow in my dad’s footsteps. Jak is the cook in the relationship. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know what I would do for dinner every night!
In the end I know that titles don’t matter as much as the kind of person you are. I can only hope to be the best mom possible, and I can’t wait until November to greet our son Xander!