I am a bit over 30 weeks now and well things are definitely different than the other trimesters. For one, the body is going through big changes in this last trimester. My ribs are already in pain because the ribs actually are moving to make room for the growing uterus. I never knew that, and have to say the rib pain (along with the muscle pain from stretching) sometimes makes me so uncomfortable I have to lie down for a bit to ease the pain. Within a couple weeks, my OBGYN said that my hips would be moving, as in the muscles and joints would widen for birth and she said that it might feel uncomfortable or painful to sleep on my side. I have to say I am in such awe of what the female body is capable of. I have to say my favorite trimester so far was the second. The third trimester is just painful.
In my OGBYN appointment yesterday we talked about birth. I cannot tell you how terrified I am at the thought of having to go through childbirth. I never ever imagined I’d ever been having a child of my own, I grew up wanting to adopt. So I’ve had nine months to reframe an idea I’ve had my whole life. My OBGYN was so sweet and she made me feel so confident and calm about childbirth. I don’t know how she did it, but she was so sweet when I was talking about my anxieties. She asked if I had any plans of how I wanted childbirth to go. I said I wanted an epidural since I have a low tolerance for pain. She was very supportive of that and made sure that it was in my chart so everyone in the practice knew that it was important to me for whoever would be on the shift during my childbirth.
As scary as childbirth seems, I am only 10 weeks away from being able to see Xander and hold him. For me, the thing that makes me not as scared about childbirth and makes me feel more positive about it is the thought of holding Xander and having him here with us. I truly am excited for him to be out here in the world. I just want to start bonding with him already. I want to get to know his temperament and personality, I want to get to know his cries so I can gauge what he needs. I know Jak is also as excited as I am for Xander to be here. He wants the same things, to be able to hold him, bond, and be a parent.
Never did I think I would have such a desire to be a parent at 23 years old. At the beginning of the pregnancy I was full of apprehension and anxiety, now I am just filled with excitement and joy!