I personally grew up believing that family has nothing to do with blood relations. My mom is adopted, my sister and I are adopted. My dad is the only one in my family who wasn’t adopted. That’s one reason why I was planning on adopting because I really didn’t believe that blood makes a family. It certainly can help when it comes to medical issues, or even just knowing personality traits, but I think people make their own families. For instance, when a child gets older usually their friends become family to them. There is no blood relation, but they still are considered family.
I can honestly say that actually having a baby inside me has been a strange experience, especially because my whole life I’d planned to adopt. I had never actually taken much time to think about pregnancy in all these years until I got pregnant. Suddenly I had books to read and had so many questions. I honestly felt unprepared with all the knowledge I had to take in while my body went through changes I didn’t even think were possible.
I know that everyone has their own definition of what makes a family. For instance, Jak thought adoption would make him feel distanced from the kid because he grew up thinking that he would have a child through pregnancy. For me, I felt adopting would make me feel closer to the kid. I remember I couldn’t understand why me physically having a kid was so important to him. He explained that he truly wanted to see what our child would look like and act like and if they would take after one of us in any way. To me, I haven’t ever been around anyone who looks like me. I’ve always felt odd, out of place. So for me, I am quite curious as to what Xander will look like. I always figured that whether I had a kid through blood or adoption, it really came down to the love and dedication. For me, growing up and never fitting in looks wise with my family, I never associated family with looks, but rather with people who love you. I consider our close family friends, family. I’ve known them since I was a baby, have grown up around them, seeing them often, and feel a close connection to them, and know that there is love present.
My definition of family is a group of people who are reliable, loving, caring, and present in your life, whether blood-related or not.