I am 33 weeks pregnant and Jak and I have been preparing for Xander in different ways. For one, with the baby shower this weekend, we have been cleaning and setting up Xander’s area with all the gifts that have already arrived. I wasn’t exactly sure how to do this since today amazon sends the gifts to you ahead of the shower, so I figured setting all the gifts up in the nursery would be a good way to show everyone how their gift contributed. But we have been having many talks about Xander and our goals, idea’s, and practicalities. When a child enters the picture, everything changes, so with that in mind we had lots to talk about.
This topic is of utmost importance. Given we know what we earn and our spending patterns, we know what needs shifting. We have financial goals, we have our savings, and we have ways to save. One couple told us most of our money will be going to diapers, so be prepared for that.
This has been a family discussion, and we are currently figuring this one out.
Luckily my job writing for an online magazine, so I know I’ll be at home. Jak and I discussed if he had any sick days left for this year he should take them after Xander is born. We actually got into a discussion on the topic of paternity leave. Sadly some companies don’t offer men paternity leave, at least not as long as maternity leave is, and that’s not fair. For one, it’s outdated and sexist. Second, that means the father doesn’t have an equal opportunity to bond with their child during those crucial first months.
I am staying with Xander for the first six months since those are crucial for building a bond and for healthy development. But when Spring semester comes around, if there are some online classes that I can take, I want to, which means we will have to figure out childcare for when I am doing work, depending on Xander’s personality and temperament. Jak and I also discussed the type of person we would be looking for, what we wouldn’t want, and we still need to discuss the money we would be willing to spend on childcare.
Labor and Childbirth
Jak and I have talked about this topic a lot! I know that I want Jak and my mom in the room. We are making sure we have everything on the checklist for the “Go” bag and having it packed a couple weeks in advance. I know I want meds to ease the pain. We are going to be attending a childbirth preparation class on the 21st.
Overall Life Changes
A child entering the picture will change the dynamic between Jak and I, for sure. We need to be able to discuss how we are going to make time for us. Are we going to have date nights weekly, twice a month, once a month? In the first couple months, with the lack of sleep, who takes priority to get sleep? Are we going to each have different nights, are we going to do this in shifts, etc.? How are Luvas and Emily going to be affected by Xander’s entrance? How are we going to make sure the transition is smooth? Post-birth will anyone be helping me? My mom offered to help me for the first week, but is that all I can expect? I read an article on discussing what is to be expected. The article said the helper’s role should focus on laundry, meals, errands, while the mother of the child focuses on the child. Will Jak, mom, or dad be able to help if there is an emergency?
Preparing for Xander has been exciting. Truly, Jak and I can’t wait until Xander arrives. I know that mom also can’t wait. We all are excited to meet Xander and get to know him.