Some women often have the tendency to look after everyone around them, and can find themselves thinking, “Where did the time go? I wanted to do X, Y, or Z today.” Societally women are seen as the caretakers (which is outdated). They are the ones who are making sure everyone else is okay, being the more apologetic one, and keeping things organized. Not all women, but some women can get lost in taking care of others.
For me, I am someone who takes care of others. I often forget things that I’ve wanted to do, or was planning. I tend to put others needs before mine. It’s not a bad thing until I’ve realized I didn’t get things done that I wanted to. I was able to have some “me” time yesterday while Jak was in auto tech class since I went to school with him yesterday for his Business Law 1 class (they were on the Criminal Law section, I had to go!). While Jak was in class, I was relaxing in my car, with a book Jak bought me as a gift, and I was reading that for a while, glad I had time to just sit and read and take care of myself in that way. I also was thinking about my future and my goals.
I am a senior at John Jay College of Criminal Justice studying Forensic Psychology. My passion is psychology because I believe that psychology has so many benefits for people. Until psychology entered my life, I was pretty lost. I wasn’t self-aware, I wasn’t as educated, and I wasn’t as empathetic as I’ve come to be. Part of that may be due to growing up, but still. My goal is to graduate and hopefully attend Fairfield University to get my Masters in Counseling since it’s one of the Universities around here that is accredited. Before graduating John Jay and going to Grad School, I want to volunteer or intern at The Family Center for Justice. I’ve actually wanted to do that for almost a year, and right when I was originally going to contact them about possibly volunteering or interning for this past summer, I found out I was pregnant and realized that changed things. The Center for Family Justice offers training and education courses, and I can’t take the training course right now, but I can attend some of the education courses (which are $30/ course). There is one in late October that I really want to go to, and one in early November. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month so their education is around those subjects.
I realized that with Xander entering the picture, and with Jak and all the things going on in his life, I kind of put my needs on the back burner. I told Jak I wanted to do those classes, and eventually do the training, and Jak was so supportive and said when I do the training and if I do volunteer or intern there, he would make sure that he could look after Xander during those hours, or that we would find a way to get a babysitter or something. That has been one thing I truly love about us, we both push each other to reach our goals. I felt so supported when Jak and I talked. I realized that though things are changing, I still had to make sure I was taking care of myself and my own needs.
It’s important for mothers to put themselves first sometimes. Life can get crazy, and things don’t go as planned, but self-care is essential. Making sure you are happy with yourself, where you are, where you’re headed is important. If you’re happy, then more people around you will be happy.
I don’t think mamas get enough praise. We focus on everyone else to the point we don’t even realize we are a person with desires. When mom forgets and everyone else forgets she’s real and not a compute that just dishes out whatever everybody wants. Like now, I was planning to go to school for exactly what you are going for but my son was having issues. I had to put it to the side to help my son. It sucks sometimes but I learned rerouting is the most helpful way.
I agree completely!
I completley agree with you, its so important to take time out to yourself! I’m not a mum and I’m no longer a student but I feel like we spend most of our lives rushing from one thing to the next without taking a minute to relax. I’m glad you can treasure those special moments and It’s so wonderful to hear about how supportive Jak is of your goals. I wish you the best of luck in your studies x