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I posted a couple weeks ago about how parenting is teamwork. In this post, I am going to talk about why you moms should encourage your spouses to help you out, despite their busy lives. In marriage, you two are equals and are supposed to share responsibilities as equally as possible. So, why is it that new mothers are often found alone in parenting?
My husband, Jak, and I are teammates. We share responsibilities, and both parent our son Xander. I am a stay at home mom at the moment and am fortunate I can work from home. My husband, however, is studying to be an auto technician. This means his classes cannot be taken online, like mine, and his job at BMW is working on cars all day. He gets up at 5:30 AM and three nights a week arrives home at 5:30 PM and two nights a week gets home at 9:00 PM because his auto classes get out at 8:00- 8:40 depending on the project. He still takes the night shift, and even in the mornings before leaving will change and feed Xander so I can sleep in until 7 AM.
During the pregnancy, Jak and I talked about parenting and shared responsibilities. We talked about how hard birth would be on me, given I’d never planned on being pregnant in my life. The birth was incredibly hard for me and very difficult. Jak was there the entire time and encouraged me through. Seeing me in that amount of pain, the amount of time it took from the beginning of labor until the end, he was determined to help me out. I could barely walk for the first week because Jak had held my leg in an awkward position during childbirth and pinched a nerve, so my leg gave out when walking at times.
Jak took the night shift and still takes the night shift to this day. I’ve had people wonder how that happened. I personally think Jak has been so dedicated as a father because he has always wanted to be a father, he wanted to help me out during the six weeks of healing and knew that he wasn’t going to be around during the week much and wanted to spend time with Xander.
So how do you get your spouses to help out?
- Point out the fact you just went through childbirth
- If your spouse was there with you and saw what you endured, I would think they would offer to help out at night while you heal. If they don’t, then mention how difficult the birth was, and that you need your rest to heal quicker.
- Buy The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Newborns: Amazing Sleep from Day One – For Baby and You to help your spouse get the baby on a sleep schedule
- This book saved our lives by getting our little guy on a sleep schedule and learning the best tricks to getting him to sleep through the night! Having your spouse read the book and understand that the night shift isn’t something to dread or be scared about can make them more open to doing it.
- If you’re a stay at home mom, point that out
- You are Mom all day. You are there spending every minute with your little one. You and your spouse are both parents, and your spouse needs to interact with the little one too, and bond. If you are with the little one all day and all night, when does your spouse get to spend any time with them?
- Father-infant bonding is just as important as mother-infant bonding, especially in the early days.
- Point out the importance of both parent bonds, and having a bond before the six-month mark. Show them some of these articles