I don’t have just a trucker’s mouth; I have a 60-year-old, 3 packs of cigarettes a day, whiskey on his breath, wife named Darlene, trucker’s mouth. I was never allowed to say bad words as a kid and would never dream of it. Now I am an adult, and I guess my mouth is trying to catch up on all the cursing it missed out on. It comes out uncontrollably and has become as natural as breathing.


What the Bleep Did You Just Say?

So, why was I surprised when my 5-year-old daughter marched in like Kim Jong-Un and landed the f-bomb on my ears? Boom! Then, to make matters worse; I pulled a Trump and laughed in the face of the craziest dude in town. I couldn’t help myself, the context in which she used the f-word was perfect.

My husband and her were playing a new board game that she received for her birthday. I had been playing this game all stinking day with her. My husband finally came home from work, and it was his turn. My daughter is very competitive and likes to win (as do most 5-year-olds). After about 10 minutes at the moment of her epic defeat of my husband she yelled out “f- you!”.

board game

My husband and I instantly locked eyes; both with a facial expression confirming what we had just heard. Realizing what had just happened I felt laughter bubbling up like a bottle of champagne on New Year’s Eve. So, I threw a blanket over my head and went to my office (the bathroom) to laugh it out.

Once the laughter subsided I felt shame. I pictured myself as Cersei from Game of Thrones, walking through the hallway with my children chanting “shame, shame, shame” and throwing Legos at me. How could I be such a bad mother? How could I let my kids hear me speak that way, knowing that they will copy everything I do?


Fix the Fart Out Of It

I had to try and fix the damage I had done. I had to try and soak it in rice and cross my fingers that my little girl wasn’t completely damaged. It took a lot of rice, but I was able to save the device.

  1. Pow-wow

Have a sit down with your kids. Talk about reasons why they shouldn’t say bad words. Discuss how it might make other people feel. You might be surprised at how much your kids will gain in understanding from having an honest conversation with you.


camp fire

  1. Consequences

If the cursing continues you may need to put some consequences in place. Different things will work for different children, you know your child best. Some recommendations may be a swear jar, time out, or loss of privilege.

  1. Create alternatives

I now use alternatives to the actual curse words if I really feel the need to curse. My alternatives are fart and sugar.

  1. Be aware

Before this incident, I never really thought about watching my mouth. Just being aware of what you say and how you say things is very helpful. Give it a little time and not cursing will become just as natural as cursing. It just takes some practice.

  1. Reward yourself

When I saw that what I was doing was working to curve the cursing, I decided to reward myself for my major mommy efforts with a mani-pedi. Take some time to reflect on your efforts; you deserve it b****!


Written by: Laura Weston of  Mommy Teaches Too