As newlyweds, there was plenty of time to spend on our own as a couple. We could go out for meals, trips to the pub and spend the days doing whatever we wanted. Seven years down the line, my husband and I now have three young children, and it’s a very different story.
When you have little ones, it’s hard to find time to spend together as just as a couple. There’s always something you should be doing and someone who needs something whether it’s feeding, changing, or putting to bed or maybe it’s play time, etc. The list is endless!
Here are some top tips to maintain a happy marriage when you have little ones!
My three children go to bed early as they are still young and we have always stuck to quite a strict routine. This means that my husband and I have the evenings to do the housework. Occasionally, however, we like to get a takeaway or cook a nice meal and watch a film together. Spending time together is very important. If you can get babysitters, then go out and enjoy date night like before you had children.
My husband and I have recently just celebrated our 7th year wedding anniversary. Grandparents looked after the kids, and we had a whole weekend away in the Lake District. Read all about our kid-free stay here.
Spend Time As A Family
Weekends for us is family time. We spend the days at the park or the beach whenever we can as a family. We have such busy lives during the week with work and school that it’s nice to relax as a family at the weekend. I believe this makes us closer as a family and as husband and wife.
Enjoy Individual Hobbies
I’m not saying you, and your partner need to do everything together all the time. Time apart from your partner and your family is also important for yourself, especially when you’re doing something you enjoy. My husband loves to play football and squash with the boys, and I love writing my blog and the occasional girls night. It’s important for yourself and as a couple to enjoy what you’re interested in individually which helps keeps you both happy.
Communication Is Important
Make sure you talk to each other. If there’s a problem or an issue, talk about it, and together you can work it out. Remember that your partner can’t read minds and may not even know there’s a problem. Be there for each other. Some studies show that having children put a lot of strain on a marriage and it’s true. Having children comes with a lot of worries and stress.
Try to make sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to routines and your parenting styles. Try not to bring up previous fights and issues all the time, maybe for the sake of your sanity let the little things go.
Looking after young children is a tough but rewarding job. Remember that you were ‘man and wife’ before ‘mum and dad.’
Remember The Romance
In the early days of a new relationship, there tends to be a lot of flirting, romance, compliments, texting, etc. This shouldn’t stop now just because you’ve got children. Text your partner just to say “hey, how’s your day going”, ask them about the best moments. Try to talk about things other than the kids, especially on date night! Don’t set your romantic expectations too high though, be realistic. Sitting together on the sofa, cuddling and watching TV is perfectly fine, your spending time together and that’s all that matters!
At the end of the day, remember that you were spouses before you were parents, and that making time, being there, and romancing your spouse still should be a priority, especially when you have kids!