Take a moment and think. Is love a noun or a verb? It’s a verb. Love is action. When you say, “I love you” to someone, do you truly mean it? If you mean it, then are you living up to the meaning of love? Loving someone is a great gift, but are you loving them if you’re constantly hurting them, not listening to them, or disappointing them? That’s not acting in a loving way. Love isn’t simply words, but actions. Actions are what count at the end of the day. You can talk the talk all you want, but when your actions don’t line up, the person will know where your heart lies.

Love can take practice for some. If someone’s been through trauma and neglect as a child they might not know what love is. Or they may have a warped idea. Others are aware of what love is, and they still don’t try and care. Ask yourself, “are my words and actions lining up?” If not, then something is wrong. Love is a choice you make every day. You wake up and choose to make your spouse coffee in the morning because you love them. You might even be a little late leaving, but you do it because you love them. You don’t get a day off from showing your love, it’s a 24/7 choice.

These days society has warped our ideas of love and dating. Technology has hijacked our brains into being addicted to the constant dopamine hit of getting likes, new matches, and so on. Instead of truly giving one person a chance, and seeing if love is there, you give them half of your attention while your phone buzzes with a new match. If you’re meeting someone new and everything is exciting, that is not love, but limerence. Limerence is short-term and can feel like a high – hence why people say, “falling in love is like a drug.” But it’s really falling in limerence that is like a drug. Real love can be scary, but it’s worth it. But how do you get love? You give it. Love isn’t taking but rather giving. Seems simple enough, right?

Love can be shown by compromise, being thoughtful, doing the little things daily, and by sacrifice. I know, not all sound fun, and love isn’t always fun. Sometimes it’s hard and challenging and sometimes it can be inconvenient. But love is endurance. It’s being there at 2 AM in the ER for your spouse, or when your sister’s boyfriend broke up with them and they call you on your day off from work, or when your best friends mom died, and you have to help plan the funeral. That is love.

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For me, I show my husband love through supporting him in his job (even when his job can take over a bit), making him coffee, and cuddling with him since his top love language is Physical Touch. What are your thoughts on love? Do you show your love daily or do you think you can improve? I’d love to hear three things you do a day to show your love in the comments below!