I never imagined I would be the girl who got married young. In fact, I remember telling my mom I was not getting married until I was 30 because I wanted to live first. But here I sit 14 years into marriage and 35. My husband was just shy of 20 and I was 21 when we got married. We got the usual, but you are just babies still and then people asking if we were pregnant. We were not. We were just in love and knew we wanted to be together forever. Getting married young as its shares of hardships and it also has its advantages. I am here today to share some of those hardships and advantages with you.
This can be an advantage and a hardship depending on your mindset. When you marry young you are still growing as a person. This can be difficult since men and women tend to mature at different speeds. Also without having a lot of life experience, more mistakes may be made. Having the proper support system to give advice on situations will be vital.
Growing together can also be a blessing. You can be each other’s cheerleader through the ups and downs. Also, you are not as set in your ways, so it is easier to grow and change together. You can help mold each other into not only someone they want to be but someone you are pleased to be with.
One of the major difficulties my husband and I faced marrying young was our goals after high school. We were both indecisive regarding what we wanted to be when we grew up. One difficulty was college in that we had to try to decide where we were going to live so we could decide school and work.
On the positive note now that we are older I realize it would have been even more difficult in my mindset to marry older. Taking 2 people who already have set, busy lives, schedules, and habits and trying to combine those into a workable unit can take a lot of rearranging and effort. Marrying young allows you as a couple to create a set, busy life together.
Most of the time when you are young you do not have a lot of baggage. The young adult years is when you create most of the baggage that will follow you in your adult life. To me, that is a very minor thing if you have a partner and support system that will help you to make positive decisions.
Getting married young in a healthy relationship can help you avoid some of the baggage that usually tags along for the adult years. Hopefully, by working together you can avoid bad credit, multiple failed relationships, school or work difficulties and more. If your partner and you are both mature enough to discuss things or seek advice when needed some of the baggage can be avoided.
As you get older you may begin to take things as an expectation. It is expected that you have a decent job, degree, and other items that come with being an adult. It can make it more difficult to choose a partner that meets preconceived expectations. If they don’t have it all together it makes them seem as though they would be a bad choice in a spouse.
When you marry younger it is not expected that you have it all together. You appreciate the effort the other person is putting in for the success of your family. As you gain the status and items that most adults have you can be each other cheerleaders and truly appreciate the effort they are putting in.
Getting married young can have a lot of hardships. Personally, I feel from my own experience that despite the hardships there are even more benefits. Weigh the pros and cons and decide what the best route for you is If you decide to marry young be willing to put in the extra effort that will be required to make your relationship a success.
Written by: Ashley
Ashley is the owner and content creator of A Day In the Life of Mom. She writes on marriage, relationships, and parenting. One of her favorite subjects is all things regarding being a boy mom since she is a mom to 4 of them.