I’m sure most of you clicked into this article thinking it’s about orgasming, but bear with me a moment…. Because almost everyone has a OH moment when they meet someone new. I bet it’s just not what you thought in the traditional OH sense.
To quote Barney Stinson,
“The more you learn about a person the better chance you have of hitting that fatal OH moment of the relationship. That moment when you find out that one moment about that person when you find the deal breaker.”
It’s true though. Think about it. How many people push those big conversations early on?
Do you want kids? Marriage? A home? Travel? How’s your family? Hobbies? Sex? Ex’s? … Any weird things I’m missing? How about how much money they make? Do they love their job? How possessive are their siblings? Addictions? Porn? Obsessed with a TV show? Secret Whovian? Politics are against views? Mental health?
These are all things people rush to talk about, and yet a year or ten down the line they could change anyway. People change, they evolve. Worse than that… They LIE.
Someone could start off wanting a big family and then get a career opportunity and never want kids to keep financial benefits. A person could have a great job and suddenly become injured and guess what, that’s a OH moment for someone else. Their partner can’t handle a physically disabled person. That wasn’t discussed, but it’s too much. The more you learn, the better chance you have of getting to that OH moment. That break up point. That perfect person you married and had kids with could be a secret pill popper and if they don’t clean up your divorced with kids. Even if you didn’t “screen” that question in the beginning and all the boxes “checked” right in the beginning, wanted kids – yes, wanted marriage – yes, employed – yes, cute apartment – yes, happily ever after**-yes (sure seemed like it would be)
That’s sort of the thing. Everyone has an OH moment. There is a very famous quote, –
“How did you two stay married for so long?”
“Well, we both considered divorce, but never at the same time”
Even this shows that this couple had OH moments but worked through them. It’s not like people can’t decide to work through anything. Working through your relationship is really a choice. It’s a challenge, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also a choice. When me and my husband got together, we sort of had the mindset that we were just going to work it out. Love doesn’t save you, it’s not a magical glue holding us together. Being opposites, we butted heads a lot. If we didn’t fix us, nobody was going to. He wanted to change jobs for less money, OK. I wanted to move to a smaller place to save money, he had to be OK.
Compromise and communication. Listen to each other. It only doesn’t work when someone decides it doesn’t. Everyone has their own morals and ethics. Completely understandable. If two people don’t hate each other, however, then that OH moment gets far into the distance. I had my times when I thought I was saying stuff that was going to give him his OH moment and I’m sure he had times where I was going to have my OH moment. It just never happened. Not like that.
I did have two OH moments in our relationship, but those stories are for another day, and they weren’t when I thought they were going to happen, nor when he did. To my knowledge, he has only had one. Again… Never at the same time.
I think the big key is to always be working on your marriage/relationship. Today, after my marriage has weathered many storms, I’d say we are stronger than ever.
What OH moments have you had? Why have they happened? Have they happened with other people but not your current partner? Why or why not? Have you changed? Have your boundaries? Why? What would you consider a OH moment even if it hasn’t happened yet?
Have you discussed these with your partner? Why or why not?
Food for thought.
-Chloe
