Let me preface this by saying that there are 11 different types of Intimacy. 10 of which stand alone, but in and of themselves and their creation in the different intimacy pillars.

Sexually Intimacy, takes 4 or more types of Intimacy to come into creation.

Sex mutually notes openness, vulnerability, and nakedness. It’s a shared experience (usually between two people). In Sexual Intimacy to create the sex and intimacy of the shared space, 4 or more of the other kinds of Intimacy MUST be present. An outline and definition of the types of Intimacy are below.

Types of Intimacy

1)  Spiritual

Spiritual intimacy is sharing the same religious values and same views. It’s a sense of unity and mutual commitment to those values and beliefs.

2)  Emotional

Emotional intimacy is when interpersonal relationships intensify. It becomes unique to that of other relationships that a person has.

3)  Physical

Physical intimacy is sensual proximity to any other and touching them. Often confused with sexual intimacy because sex is one way to gain physical intimacy, but most sexual encounters help physical intimacy and aren’t sexual intimacy.

4)  Intellectual

Intellectual intimacy is when you come together with another person for sharing ideas and thoughts. This sharing is without prejudice and both parties are comfortable when in disagreement.

5)  Financial

Financial intimacy is when sharing thoughts, feelings, wants and needs in making financial decisions or arrangements allow both parties, no matter how much money is involved to feel safe and secure after making a choice.

6)  Crisis/Conflict 

Crisis/Conflict intimacy is just another way of saying trauma or experience bond. Sharing experiences with someone who are in the same event/s when that experience happens creates a bond when two or more people consensus we care about the outcome of the situation.

7)  Recreational

Recreational intimacy is sharing a play or being active together and both sharing the outcome positively together.

8)  Work

Work intimacy is working, sharing and being vulnerable with a coworker.

9)  Commitment

Commitment intimacy is when you feel committed and comfortable with a person throughout the good and bad times. It’s a internal vow of hearts to not leave no matter the circumstances.

10) Aesthetic/Creative 

Aesthetic/Creative Intimacy is sharing or creating something beautiful together.

11) Sexual

Sexual intimacy is special. When you have 4 or more of the other kinds of Intimacy, you have sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy is being with another person in a way that only those 2 people can connect. Sexual intimacy is not always sex (although it mostly is) and is very easily confused for physical intimacy. It’s being open, vulnerable and connected

What Does All The Above Mean?

Sexual intimacy is the only kind of Intimacy that needs 4 other kinds of intimacy from both sides/parties. It’s why people who have been together domestically for a long time CAN have really good sex and intimacy but also so can someone who works with a coworker and ignites an affair. Sexual intimacy can be experienced by one party as 4 different types of Intimacy than the other is experiencing as long as 4 types are being experienced by both parties involved, otherwise it’s just creating physical intimacy.

SSA (pornography, sex & masturbation addicts) have issues with Sexual Intimacy because they think they are having Sexual Intimacy when it’s chemically impossible. They can have Financial Intimacy and maybe even Commitment Intimacy to help them think they are achieving this when it not possible.

The most common type of Intimacy that people know and respond to is Physical Intimacy. Lots of time, Physical Intimacy stands in place of having Sexual Intimacy with someone in many of our encounters as the most misunderstood of all Intimacy Types. You can have sex and gain Physical Intimacy but also, equally, can achieve Sexual Intimacy with someone when you are not having sex. For Physical Intimacy, touching Needs to be present but this is not always the case with Sexual Intimacy.

Sexually Intimacy is confusing to so many people and extremely important to understand it. Sexual Intimacy is the highest form of connection with another person besides Parental Bonding. Parental Bonding and relationship bonding are chemically different in lots of ways. For instance, the oxytocin release you get from a mother’s hug is different than the vasopressin that ends up creating by a partner during physical connection. Vasopressin is a special chemical that a person only makes when with another and certain elements compound to make you feel attached to another person. The more Vasopressin present, the better connected two people are to each other. 

Having Sexual Intimacy is a bond two people share that’s inclusive of all the Intimacies. Sexual Intimacy, to be continually bonded to the other person, should be the goal of all relationships.