From a person not struggling with addiction, infidelity or betrayal in their relationship:
Q: What should a partner be mindful of when addressing things with their partner (whether it’s day to day aspects or negotiating or tough topics)?
The Savvy Answer:
Being a mindful partner means being self-aware as well as having strong communication skills.
In terms of communication and engagement with your partner – whether during happy or stressful times – it’s important to remember you each see the world in your own way.
In my private coaching with couples, we dive deep into your world perspective. How do you each see the world?
For instance, my husband is more scientific/logical when approaching the world and those around him, while I approach others from an emotional/psychological perspective. By being mindful partners we make sure to remember we have different lens’ we approach the world from.
However, you can see that with each of our approaches in life, if we were not mindful partners, we could easily devolve into arguments if we were not aware of each other’s world lens’.
When you are in day to day discussions and engagement with your partner, besides keeping in mind how they approach the world and those around them, having you both communicate throughout the day can be a huge benefit when you come together in the evening.
Why? Because with multiple check-in points throughout the day, you can see whether your partner has had a good day (and is in a good mood) or has had a stressful day (and is in a poor mood), and thus you can shift any expectations and/or shift your approach with them when you two come back together at the end of the day (or whenever you guys have that quality time).
Relationship Opportunity: Assess your world lens! How do you approach and see the world? Are you looking at everything like a scientist? Do you see things through an emotional perspective? Do you approach life through a religious perspective?
Once you each find out what your top 2-3 world perspectives are you can share with each other and see if there’s been any unnecessary arguments for a simple lack of understanding where you and your partner were coming from.