You + Your Partner = a Team

When you and your partner are in sync, you feel on top of the world.

You feel heard, loved, confident, and happy. You know your partner has your back as you get into the world and follow your passions. There’s nothing better to boost your confidence than feeling safe and loved, am I right?

But, when you and your partner aren’t a team, life gets hard.

Arguments are endless, you start to view each other as the enemy, work is suddenly stressful, you’ve lost confidence and even feel like a failure at times.

Let’s Get Things Straight

• It’s not how much sex you’re having, but rather the quality
• It’s not about how many people you’re having sex with, but rather how are you treating those people
• It’s not how much you communicate, but how you communicate
• It’s not about how much you argue, but how you argue
• It’s not about hearing each other, but rather about listening
• It’s not about being right, but rather about understanding
• It’s not about how much time, but about quality time
• It’s not about “my way,” it’s about compromise
• It’s not “me and you,” it’s “us”
• It’s not about taking, but about giving and receiving

We are not taught the skills we need to be successful and happy.

We are taught that relationships will fulfill us. We aren’t taught that relationships are to enhance us and help us grow as individuals.

My name is Savannah and I know how hard relationships can be. Relationships and marriage are hard, especially when you’re not on the same page with your partner.

I was where you are. I was frustrated, feeling alone, not understanding why there wasn’t a connection, love, and compromise. Sex was vanilla and boring, and my voice didn’t matter. There wasn’t any connection outside the bedroom, so why would there be any inside the bedroom?

Trust was lacking, secrets were discovered, and my life blew up. My husband was a porn addict. Hell, I didn’t even know that was a real problem!

Porn addiction does not mix with anorexia… at all. That’s why I stated my boundaries prior to getting in a relationship with him. It was so devastating and challenging once I found out everything. My illness and his sickness were the worst combinations one could ask for. I felt like the universe was playing a sick joke on me. We couldn’t connect, we couldn’t communicate, and we were not a team at that point.

Through recovery over the past couple of years I have learned an extensive amount of knowledge, not just pertaining to porn addiction and betrayal trauma, but relationships in general. I’ve learned about what it really means to love someone and what it means to crawl back from oblivion in your relationship when you thought it was hopeless.

What I learned was that my husband never knew how to love or what love was, or what being in a relationship meant. I quote him when he told me, “I thought a relationship was having sex and hanging out with the person you like.” Needless to say, he has come so far in not only his own recovery but his knowledge of relationships.

This is why foundations matter. Without the foundations, there is no structure for a successful, connected, and healthy relationship.

My husband came from a divorced household and never witnessed a romantic relationship growing up. I, on the other hand, came from a household where my parents loved each other and worked together. We had the complete opposite upbringing, totally different environments, and vastly different life lessons before meeting each other.

Through all our differences, and challenges, we have made it. And we continue to make it, every day. Love is a choice, and it requires daily effort. That is why I know I can help you, because I’ve been to hell and back (a good couples times now!) and have lived to tell the tale that we survived and continue to thrive.