Your sacred relationship or marriage is dying for you to prioritize it.
Your relationship or marriage demands growth, health, and connection.
You and your partner are ready for you to both jump all in to foster your love, passion, connection, health, and family.
And, this is the story of how my husband and I went from a relationship filled with lies, addiction and trauma to a thriving healthy, loving, connected marriage — where we didn’t have to lose ourselves, marriage, trust, connection, or lifestyle!
I’m a Life, Relationship, and Recovery coach in Connecticut. I help pre-engaged, engaged, and married couples ready to move heaven and earth to either…
1. Bulletproof their relationship against the biggest pitfalls in marriage so that their marriage doesn’t just survive, but thrives!
Or…
2. Save themselves, their marriage, and family from the fall out of sexual addiction, intimacy anorexia, and betrayal trauma.
But to know how I got a successful, connected, and loving marriage, you’ve got to know where I started from!
I’m the oldest child in my family and was raised in an entrepreneurial family. When I was 15, my passion for understanding human behavior and healthy relationships began. Originally I pursued writing at SCAD, until I transferred to John Jay College of Criminal Justice and got my Bachelors in Forensic Psychology.
During that time I met my husband, Jak, and discovered his sexual addiction and intimacy anorexia. My husband and I didn’t have much professional help at the time so I used my education and skills from psychology to create our own roadmap to recovery, which I now teach to my clients!
On my Big D’Day where I discovered everything, I told Jak…
“I can’t live with an active addict, but I can stay with one in recovery.”
That statement – that boundary – was the beginning of our recovery journey.
June 6th, 2016 changed our lives forever.
I discovered that there were not any therapists that were familiar with or believed in “porn addiction.” I did, however, find many online communities in my journey. Some communities were helpful, and other’s were not. One online community had many toxic elements that detracted from our recovery. Sadly we stayed there for a while before moving on.
On our own, I decided to take all my knowledge of addiction and trauma from school and applied it to Jak and myself. We started with recovery books. I luckily had an amazing trauma therapist for myself that was open to learning about porn addiction and betrayal trauma. However, Jak was not as fortunate.
Jak found therapists… but they didn’t know about porn addiction, they thought “female friendly porn” would be fine, they blamed me (you know the “guys will by guys” attitude), and one even sat back for 3 months until one day the therapist said, “I don’t know why you’re seeing me, you don’t have a problem.” Talk about bad therapy, professional trauma, and invalidation! Our experiences with professionals were abismal.
I also knew many others were having the exact same experiences as Jak and I. With my own experience with addiction as well as betrayal trauma, my husband’s addiction, my natural ability to help others, and my education, I decided that I had to do something about this.
I had to stop the cycle of people getting traumatized by professionals that didn’t know a thing about betrayal trauma, sex addiction or intimacy anorexia. So I created my company and had a recovery friend, Chloe, join me in my venture.
She and her husband, Cliff, had 2 years of recovery on us, and we in the small percentage in the online community I knew to have both individually as well as relationally recovered from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma where there were no slips or relapses, simply recovery.
In our time in the various online communities, we watched so many addicts fail, lie, and abuse betrayed partners on the sites. We watched the betrayed partners tear each other down and hide in private groups and chats talking about fantasies about cheating on their husbands. We were prominent members in the communities, doing our best to help others over those years, and we learned a lot. We learned the biggest pitfalls, the most common mistakes, and we did the opposite of what everyone else was doing.
Our approach to recovery was put down in most of the communities.
We didn’t care though. We stuck to it and it worked!
Now, Jak and Cliff celebrate their 5 and 7 year sobriety birthdays of being clean in June 2021!
Now I help clients enter marriage confidently as well as help married couples struggling from sexual addiction, intimacy anorexia, and betrayal trauma overcome the challenge and build out a successful recovery lifestyle.
Jak and I are about to celebrate 5 years of sobriety as well as 6 years of being together! We celebrate the progress we have made as individuals, parents, and a couple!
I am now lucky enough to help other couples achieve what we have achieved! I spend my days pursuing my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, while also working my way through my AASAT’s in sexual addiction, partner recovery, and intimacy anorexia when I am not seeing clients and spending time with family.
You’re in the right place if….
✓ You want to create a bulletproof marriage
✓ You’re ready to rise up and commit to yourself and one another and do what it takes to successfully recover
✓ You want to trust yourself and your partner again and actually have fun and be relaxed with one another again
✓ You’d love to be a healthy, loving, connected couple, and also a healthy role model for your kids of what real love looks like
Want to change your life, relationship, and/or marriage?
Our signature 3 month program for pre-engaged or engaged couples to make sure that they are 100% ready to say “I Do” and mean “Until Death Do Us Part!”
Our signature 6 month program for couples to work individual recovery in tandem while weaving in the foundations to a successful marriage.
