Take a breath, and know that you are safe, loved, and not alone. You can begin to move forward with the right support.
Discovery or Disclosure Day completely tore your world apart. Whether it’s been 1 month or 6 months since your D’Day, you feel stuck, confused, and completely at a loss for what to do and how to get help.
You may have even not realized you need support as you might have focused on your partner getting help right after D’Day.
COVID has shaken the world the past couple years, and marriages have been tested on so many levels.
If you’ve put off your own recovery and you’re ready to leave denial, face the harsh realities so that you can become empowered, you’re in the right place.
Do you feel the anxiety, wondering if your partner is truly in recovery or is using again?
You’ve tried to set boundaries, only to have your sexually addicted partner walk all over them
You’ve found evidence and know what they are up to but your partner is in denial
You’ve named consequences, yet you just can’t pull the trigger
You’ve tried talking with your partner only for them to get angry and defensive and shut you down
You’ve explained porn is cheating to you, and your partner says it’s not cheating
You feel crazy every day thinking something is wrong with you
You feel you’re not enough, no matter how many things you do to become the “perfect” partner
That is all normal, you are not crazy, and you can overcome this. There are so many betrayed partners out there going through the exact same thing.
Often, betrayed partners end up making key mistakes in attempts to solve the problem of having a sexually addicted spouse.
They often first go to a couples therapist – only for the therapist to call them co-dependent and enable the addict to keep using because “porn addiction doesn’t exist.”
When reaching out for therapy ends up being a fail (time and time again) you’re left feeling lost and even more hopeless and invalidated than before you began searching for help.
That is all horrific to experience on top of the trauma your sexually addicted spouse has already inflicted.
At The Modern Mr. and Mrs. LLC, we created The Phoenix Model where all partners are held accountable for their decisions, behaviors and choices, all partners are validated in their feelings, and all partners are challenged to become the best version of themselves.
Who Is This Self-Study Program For?
First Steps Into Recovery Program is for betrayed partners of Sexual Stimulation Addicts (SSA’s which includes masturbation, pornography, and sex addicts) that are ready to take action, participate, learn, be engaged, transform, and begin their healing journey.
Whether you’re on your First OR tenth step, this is for you!
You might be experiencing hopelessness, anger, frustration, shock, bitterness, and just want to start trusting again! If so, then this is for YOU!
You are ready to get asked the tough questions, reflect, gain insight, and take the necessary action you need to get the results you have been dying for!
“Before First Steps Into Recovery I was feeling lost. Since being in First Steps I am clearer headed about what I need to be doing for me and in creating boundaries. First Steps helped me start to become surer of myself in terms of decision making and finding my strength again.”
The transformation you achieve in First Steps…
The truth is: Recovery is a Daily Choice. It’s a choice that you make to stay healthy.
No matter how many articles or books you read about recovery, the truth is you need more. You aren’t going to be able to fully work your individual recovery without these key components:
–> Professionals to guide you
Why are those 3 things key?
Because without the right support, betrayal trauma gets worse.
Knowing you’re not alone, and that others have been there and overcome betrayal trauma helps validate your experiences, enable you to begin to trust the journey, and to start living life again.
Without accountability, betrayal trauma can be almost impossible to recover from. Accountability is key in recovery because it makes you hold yourself to a higher standard when you know you have to check-in with others. You are responsible for your daily choices and actions.
Without professionals who’ve been there, you’re bound to fall into the biggest pitfalls of recovery. At The Modern Mr. and Mrs. LLC, Chloe and Savannah (& our husbands) have fallen into some of the biggest pitfalls that can stall recovery for years, and we teach our clients to AVOID those pitfalls and streamline recovery.
In this self-study program you get:
4 pre-recorded coaching sessions
– SESSION 1: Challenges To Getting Into Recovery
– SESSION 2: The Impact of Addiction on Partners (and Families)
– SESSION 3: The Cost of Staying In Addiction
– SESSION 4: Trauma & Creating Your Recovery Plan
3 Bonus sessions:
— BONUS SESSION 5: Addressing Recovery & Addiction with Your Partner
— BONUS SESSION 6 & 7: Over 4 Hours of Knights & Warriors sessions on Saving Your Marriage
PLUS 1 private coaching session with Savvy so that you can get direct support for your unique recovery journey!
You Will Leave First Steps with:
— The knowledge to find a QUALIFIED therapist and/or coach so that you can avoid re-traumatization AND save time & money in your journey
— The ability to know when it’s time to leave versus stay so that you don’t waste any time for your healing or your families healing
— The ability to transform self-doubt into confidence so that you can be empowered with your recovery decisions
— A new found self-worth so that you are no longer scared and paralyzed but can take action
You Will Get Unstuck!
–You’ll be asked Key questions in coaching exercises so that you can gain insight.
–You will go from Paralyzed to having “Aha” Moments so that are you Motivated to Move forward!
You Will Gain Insight!
–You will connect the dots that you haven’t been able to connect before so that you CAN move forward confidently.
–You will see things with Clarity instead of confusion so that you can make informed decisions about your future!
You Will Take Action!
–You will be doing exercises each day that challenge you to dig deep so that you will WANT to move forward.
–You will make Changes each day so that you will have a successful recovery!
Your Coaches, Savvy Esposito & Chloe Sutherland
Entering First Steps Into Recovery I was feeling terrible, scared, hurt, angry and emotional. In First Steps I was finally able to accept that my husband is a sex addict. I was able to learn about boundaries and consequences and I know I need recovery! My husband joined SSR as well, and I’ve accepted that SSA is in our lives.
The Mod understands all this as they’ve been through this themselves and are helpful and answer all our questions!
If you are even debating on this program, you need to do it! It will really kick start your recovery!!
Before The Mod I’d tried therapy and books but The Mod was nothing like anything I’d done before! This mini program was absolutely fantastic and helped me a lot!
Check out our Case Studies from past clients!
Before joining First Steps Into Recovery I was feeling pretty lost. Being in First Steps has helped me get my husband into Become a Knight and SSR! I loved being able to connect to all the other women out there living this same nightmare and understanding that it’s not US going crazy, but to acknowledge that the SSA/BT are SERIOUS issues that can be healed!
From First Steps I’ve already been able to recognize my triggers and start managing them, I’ve managed to also define my needs very clearly, and I see so much more clearly what the options are: recovery, recovery, recovery for the rest of our life.
If you’re thinking about joining this Program nothing compares to The Mod! The Mod rocks!
Before First Steps I tried couples therapy (which was crap!), old school psychiatrist (which was crap!!), and honestly, The Mod gets to the point and is effective and informed.
I took this program and it’s my 60th birthday today and I just want to say thank you so much for the present I got from The Mod! I feel empowered and confident, especially with my man committed now!
Joining First Steps Into Recovery, I came in feeling lost, pissed, confused and hopeless. In First Steps all the exercises were helpful. Even when I didn’t think it pertained to me, they would come up in conversation with my husband and I already had knowledge on it!
I’d like to get into Warriors now that First Steps is over.
In First Steps I was able to take action. I was able to see that there is actual hope for us and recovery.
It was amazing to learn that there are other women out there in the same situation as I am. I’m not crazy for being upset that he has an addiction. It was amazing to have the coaches listen and to show me the way to go from here!
Because of First Steps my husband is FINALLY getting the help we didn’t know he needed! I feel more myself than I have since I’ve had my children. I am invested in myself and am demanding that I get better for myself and my children whether my husband gives up or not.
The Mod is special because they’ve been there. They understand all the emotions and pain. The Mod isn’t trying to coach others based on what they “think” you’re going through. The Mod has insight. They can’t no judgement for all the emotions the betrayed and the addicted are feeling.
If you’re on the fence about this program, DO IT! I haven’t been searching long for help and I was so lucky to have found The Mod when I did! Savannah is so relatable. It feels like I am listening to my friends giving me advice instead of a therapist who “thinks” they know what’s best. Savannah and Chloe say what they mean and mean what they say. They are confident in themselves and in their clients!
Before finding The Mod I’d only found out my husband was an addict in April. I knew he struggled with it for many years, but I didn’t know he could be addicted and what it does to the brain and what it does emotionally.
I am so extremely thankful for this opportunity to finally get both me and my husband on the way to recovery!
When I joined First Steps Into Recovery, I was feeling like I had come a long way in getting my mind and emotions stable but had a long way to go in getting back to functioning in the real world. When First Steps ended, I felt excited because I have my head up on the journey ahead with Warriors! The fear of the unknown is lifted! First Steps was interactive.
First Steps is NOT about going to a class and listening to a talk. It’s about getting knowledge, doing what you have been given and taking action! The knowledge that is available and the encouragement in First Steps was SO valuable!
With First Steps I am investing in full recovery for myself instead of settling for just getting by. I can now see the possibility of my life being active and energized again, see myself for the real person I am, and I realize now there are things that can be done differently.
You have a team working together and have your husbands on your team. I know how women think, feel and function with this addiction but I want to know how men come through this successful. I want to know their struggles and what they go through and how the men that overcome this addiction do it. Being in the dark about men’s struggles has been a hindrance for me. Also, you don’t hold back truth and knowledge. All of you put it on the table in clear view.
If you are on the fence, if what you have done hasn’t helped or moved you to the next level in where you need healing, then please don’t give up! It is hard going it alone, and we were meant to keep moving higher! Before The Mod I did lots of research and read books and talked to friends who gave all they had for the first year. Second year we done 1:1 mentoring which was lifesaving and what we needed at that time to get stable. We got into groups which was good for communication. I desired more knowledge and understanding about what happened to us, why, and where to go from here. The Mod has the knowledge of this addiction and answers that I have not found elsewhere.
Leaving First Steps I am determined to get to a new normal and will fight this addiction and trauma!