Unfortunately too many betrayed partners get slapped with the label “codependent” or “co-addict” and it’s just not true (in most cases). Patrick Carnes developed the codependency model where it’s presumed that the partner of the...
Arguments are part of any healthy relationship. They are unavoidable, and can actually be a positive aspect of your relationship. Arguments show that you care, are passionate, and are not scared to speak your point of view. But, not all arguments are equal. Some...
“How long does recovery take and what are my long-term options?” That is the number one question I get asked from prospective clients going through betrayal trauma and sexual addiction. Below, I’m going to breakdown the various recovery paths and...
When people suffer from porn addiction and betrayal trauma, their odds of getting help and recovering are oftentimes low because porn addiction and betrayal trauma are not well understood by traditional therapists, and the debate is still out on whether or not porn...
Oftentimes the SSA™ (Sexual Stimulation Addict – masturbation, porn, and/or sex addict) will not fully commit and do a “fake out” in terms of recovery and can decieve their betrayed partner. In this video Chloe and I discuss the ways that the...
Porn addiction is a real addiction, and 1 in 3 guys between ages 15 & 50 are suffering porn induced erectile dysfunction because of it. Yes, porn can break your dick… so if you want to not break your dick, listen up! Here are signs porn could be a problem for you...
Why do people lie? Why do we all lie? That should conjure up some interesting conversations. Let’s not pretend that we all don’t do it in one form or another to one extent or the other at one time or another when the right opportunity, or should we say situation,...
Often partners who have had their partner have an affair or have a porn or sex addiction will end up with Betrayal Trauma – NOT Co-dependancy. Betrayal Trauma is a NORMAL reaction to betrayal. You’re NOT crazy! You’re 100% Valid in Your Feelings! You might be...
This post may piss people off, and that’s 100% fine. In fact, we all should get pissed. We all should realize that what I am about to discuss needs to be brought to light. The Big Ugly Truth: Your Kids Know. Your kids are aware something isn’t right. They know that...
The first real wide sweeping pandemic to affect the world to this magnitude is proving to be a formidable health threat to overcome. We haven’t seen these kinds of fatalities from a pandemic in a hundred years since World War I. The only difference between a pandemic...
It’s so common in today’s society for men to attack people who aren’t a fan of porn in their relationship. It’s why lots of women confide in their female friends if there’s a porn issue in their relationship. But these women are not expecting their female...
Ah, the penis. Every other person in the world has one. Yet, to many it’s a mystery. They don’t understand what it is or how it communicates to you – even if you have one! Many don’t know anything about it other than to keep it clean. So...
When my children were younger, toddlers, I recall how much anxiety it caused me when we went to the lake, the ocean, or even the pool. I found myself watching not only my children, but others’ children too. My head was constantly moving back and forth, counting,...
As I’ve researched the human brain over the years, what lies beneath the gray/grey matter that is the human brain, there are some very fascinating details about it that we’ve only discovered within the last decade. Everything we knew before was just wrong. We’re just...
We admitted we were powerless over sexaholism – that our lives had become unmanageable. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Made a...
90 Days! So what’s so special about it? I often speak of the coveted “90 Days”. We all do. Some call it “90 days of sobriety”. Others call it “90 days of abstinence”. I call it “90 days of healing”. After all, that’s really what it all boils down to and we are talking...
With 2020 well under way, I felt this would be a great time to provide for you some valuable lessons in what “genuine intimacy” really looks like. So without further ado, with Valentine’s Day just a month away, here is the list. WARNING Some of these...
Lots of people have heard the term “White Knuckling,” but do you know what it truly means? The definition is: someone who is avoiding recovery by doing minimal efforts to appear to others that they are achieving recovery, all the while, not truly learning...
I cannot believe we are at the end of 2019. I am honestly SO happy to have made it through this year. It’s been a very big, challening, and at times painful year. In this post I am going to be addressing me and my husband’s journey in recovery, the goals...
Actually, “counciling” isn’t even a word. But I utilize it to illustrate a point. I view much of what so-called premarital counseling is as nothing more than various miscellaneous and sundry council members with words of advice often fraught with (mis)information with...
I had been eyeing this car for a very long time. It solidified all of my hopes, dreams, and goals that truly represented and exemplified what I thought was pure success. It was coveted by my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances alike. It was, “Man, you are so damned...
Unpopular opinion – sometimes the only way to recover is to do something drastic. This does not necessarily mean that it’s the only thing to do, or that you should do something different for the sake of doing different. Sometimes recovering from SSA...
He was tired. My husband told me he was Tired. It was starting to get old though. You know that sort of tired where he won’t touch you for days and you start to question yourself as a woman? You know, where you are going crazy because the work stress passes, and...
Being able to stand up for yourself is huge when you’ve constantly been beaten down by lines like, “Its just porn, get over it.” “I’m not cheating, fuck every guy needs release.” “Maybe if you put out...
