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Messenger coaching is the way to get 1:1 feedback, coaching, consultation, and support with your personal struggles immediately.
Unlike email coaching, where you send an email and wait for a response in 24-48 hours, your coach is right there, responding in real time back to you.
Messenger coaching is effective, efficient, and results oriented. In each session you will go from feeling lost to confident in the next step towards your goals!
Sessions are as long as you want them to be!
If you need a really quick session to address one thing and it takes 3 minutes, awesome!
If you need a more in depth session, you can have one for up to 60 minutes to dive deep!
The goals & possibilites are endless, and they all come from you!
In messenger coaching, we have two different options you can go with to reach your goals!
PRE & POST MARITAL COACHING
For couples that are in a committed long-term relationship, or engaged, or have been married under 7 years that are struggling to have the connected, romantic, intimate, and passionate relationship they desire!
Coaching with Savannah Esposito
MARRIAGE & RECOVERY COACHING
For couples struggling from the fallout of sexual addiction, intimacy anorexia, and/or betrayal trauma.
Coaching with Savannah Esposito or Chloe Sutherland
In the Pre & Post Marital coaching option, you and Savannah will collaborate together on what is the most important to address, but there will be key areas that will get discussed to ensure the most solid, intimate, and passionate relationship possible! In between sessions, there will be exercises to complete and implement to help reach your goals!
For clients who are seeking this track, know that we take clients ranging from 21-45 years old.
In the Marital & Recovery coaching option, there is a lot of fluidity in what gets addressed as each person and couple is in a different stage of recovery. You may need coaching on boundaries, or you may not because you have them down. Maybe you’re more in need of coping skills. That’s fine! You and your coach will collaborate on creating the best experience, with recovery exercises, to get you to your goals!
For clients who are seeking this track, know that we take clients ranging from 25-55 years old.
Let’s save you time & money by having you fill out the appropriate quick intake necessary to ensure the actual messenger sessions are lazer focused where we get results quickly!
This intake enables us to understand you and your needs better before we hop on a messenger session so that we use our time effectively and efficiently to get you results!
LIFE, MARRIAGE, & RECOVERY TOPICS OFTEN ADDRESSED
Job + Career
Often, when someone is in addiction, or their partner is in addiction, the job or career they or their partner is in, isn’t the right fit for being clean and sober, or the job they have isn’t their dream career.
Clients can explore their passions in life and their abilities professionally and figure out if they are in the right career for their dream Recovery Lifestyle
Family can be challenging. Let’s be honest, most addicts that struggle from addiction didn’t have the ideal parents at home. 80% of SSA’s™ experience abuse and trauma in their childhood.
Knowing how to discern boundaries with family members, address recovery with family members, and even who to tell and not tell can be overwhelming. Having goals and a game plan for family is HUGE in designing your Recovery Lifestyle.
Because it’s not only your family of origin you want to know how to address, but it’s also creating your new family with your partner.
Finanaces + Budgeting
There are times where finances and budgeting were never skills learned growing up, or maybe the SSA™ spent thousands of dollars on their addiction and now finances are a struggle.
In building your Recovery Lifestyle you might want to address how to be more financially healthy in daily choices, and game planning for the future.
It’s not uncommon for clients to come to us where the addict never finished school and dropped out, and is in a job they hate, or where the betrayed partner never finished school and has stayed home raising the kids.
Many times it’s not uncommon for part of the Recovery Lifestyle goals to include going back to school to fill a passion they’ve had, but never got to do.
Friends don’t always get it. There can be friends you’ve had since you were 5 years old who suddenly turn on you when they sing out you’re struggling with SSA™, or that your partner is struggling with SSA™.
Friends can say porn isn’t a problem, or that you’re overreacting, or the addiction doesn’t even exist, which is invalidation your experience.
These are the people who are not recovery friendly, and learning how to address these situations is key for learning how to be safe in recovery, respect yourself and figure out healthy boundaries.
Health + Fitness + Nutrition
Recovery is mind, body, and spirit. That means you have to take care of your body in recovery. Even if you’re healthy in your eating, are you getting enough sleep? Are you exercising enough?
Many times when someone is struggling with addiction, they don’t take care of themselves. Betrayed partners can also fall into unhealthy habits in trauma as well.
When designing your Recovery Lifestyle, having health goals can really be a game changer!
Whether you have kids or are having kids, kids put a huge strain on recovery. Many times the addict has no idea how to be emotionally close to their partner, let alone their children.
Many times, pregnancy can be one of the biggest challenges for couples going through SSA™ & Betrayal Trauma. Addressing parenting goals can be a key part of building their healthy Recovery Lifestyle.
In recovery community is key! Finding people you can relate to, learn from, bond with, and lean on is so important in recovery.
Having safe people to talk to, confide in, and get help from can make this journey easier than if you were alone and isolated. Community can be church, 12-step meetings, recovery groups and so much more. The point is to not be isolated as you’re in recovery.
Addiction thrives in isolation, and Recovery thrives in community
Household responsabilities, aka chores! Many times the one struggling with addiction can barely take care of themselves, and can leave their home environment a mess, or leave the responsability to their partner to take care of everything.
When designing your Recovery Lifestyle, figuring out a balanced and healthy way to take care of the home environment is key! You want it to be balanced, fair, and a team effort.
Trust is KEY to relationship reconstruction. Without Trust (and Micro-Trust) relationship reconstruction will not happen.
Sexual recovery is a huge part of the relationship reconstruction. Learning how to have sex again, in a healthy, safe, and respectful manner cannot be overlooked when entering Relationship Reconstruction.
Structured & Planned Separation
Some couples need time a part. That is 100% okay and can be very healthy, clarifying, and healing. A separation doesn’t mean failure.
The reason why separations have such a bad rep in the relationship world is that people do them WRONG.
There is an effective way to have a separation that can lead you back to each other if that’s the goal of the separation.
Doing a separation without scheduling sessions with coach or therapist can be the worst thing to do in your relationship.
Learning how to communicate in a healthy, effective, validating, and emathetic way is essential to reconstructing a healthy relationship.
Safety & Respect
If you don’t have safety, you’re not going to have a healthy relationship. Same goes for respect. These are key elements in having a successful relationship.
Stay or Go?
Often the betrayed partner, after D’Day (Discovery Day) has NO IDEA what the hell they want. Do you stay, do you go?
Betrayed partners can be paraylzed, confused, or even jump the gun on this one! When considering your options, knowing that it’s wise to wait 1 full year from D’Day can save you heartache down the line.
You don’t want to make a rash emotional decision like divorce, and regret it later.
You want to make sure you make the right decision for you, and that takes time to process, heal, and come to this decision with a logical head on your shoulders.
Intimacy is NOT sex. Intimacy is an entirely different skill that you need, to then have meaningful, intimate, connecting sex.
Disclosure Preparation & Post Care
Disclosure is a part of recovery. However, disclosures are often botched and biased. Having proper preparation and after care is KEY to avoiding a botched disclosure with a therapist.
Just as Trust is Key, so is Amends. Without remorse and true amends from the SSA, the betrayed partner will never heal, and thus, the relationship reconstruction cannot occur. If the SSA doesn’t understand the pain they’ve caused their betrayed partner, they can’t move foward until the betrayed partner feels safe, understood, and validated, so they can feel safe enough to move forward with their SSA™.
Environment, Safety & Sobriety
As you’re designing your Recovery Lifestyle, making sure your environment is safe and trigger free is key to having a successful recovery! Having tons of things that trigger you around can set you back, both as the SSA™ or as the betrayed partner. Taking the time to keep your environment recovery friendly is huge!
Gaslighting is psychological abuse. Often, SSA’s™ don’t even know that they are doing this, but once they learn, it’s key to STOP the abuse. Many struggling with addiction don’t want to be abusive.
Fetish Cycling & Ogling
Many SSA’s™ have no idea that they struggle with Ogling. They also don’t know the patterns of their addiction and how to figure out whether they are healing and moving forward or staying stuck.
If you’re experiencing Ogling and feeling stuck in recovery, getting help with Ogling will be key in helping you achieve the Recovery Lifestyle you want!
What is recovery without Boundaries, Rules of Accountability, Consequences, and Honor?
Many struggle to create and enforce BRoACH, whether with their partner or others, so learning how to set proper boundaries and consequences is key to successful recovery!
Self-Esteem often is a huge area that needs to be addressed in recovery, for both the SSA™ & the betrayed partner. The goals with building self-esteem vary depending on how deeply this has impacted you.
Self-Care, Coping Skills, & Stress
During recovery you are going to need to be able to take time for self-care, learn coping skills so you can handle stress. Many times addicts are in their addiction because they use for stress relief.
Learning skills intead of going back to destructive patterns is key to getting you to your dream Recovery Lifestyle!
Accountability, Responsability, & Ownership
Each person needs to be able to own “their shit” so to speak. Part of recovery is taking ownership, being accountable, and being responsable. With coaching, you get accountability automatically, and we work on the responsability and ownership!
Who Am I?
Often both the betrayed and SSA™ struggle with the question “Who Am I?” The reality is while you’re in addiction or trau,a, that is NOT the real you, and as you go into recovery, you start to discovery the real you.
Summer & Holiday Preparation
Holidays and Summer are HUGE times of year where addicts relapse and betrayed partners end up in horrible pain. Holidays are about family, and family can be a huge trigger. Learning how to handle holidays, plan, and prepare is key to not relapsing and continuing on the recovery journey.
In SSA™, summer can be a horrible time because of the weather and clothes, and it’s a nightmare for the betrayed. Planning is key to preventing relapses and more pain.
Savannah Esposito, B.A. Forensic Psychology
Nationally Certified Life, Relationship & Recovery Coach.
I run an intentional, intensive, high-end coaching practice with my co-coach Chloe that get clients results.
I work with those struggling from SSA™ (sexual stimulation addiction – masturbation, pornography, and/or sex addiction) and betrayal trauma because of my passion, education, and also because my husband and I lived through it and made it to the other side, when not many truly make it to The Recovery Lifestyle.
I work with both couples and individuals.
I address the following issues with clients:
– Pre & Post Marital Coaching
– Betrayal Trauma Recovery
– SSA Recovery in terms of understanding their partner’s betrayal trauma
– Structured Separations
– Relationship goals
– Communication & Arguments
– Micro-Trust & Trust
– Relapse Prevention Planning & Post Relapse Care
– Guilt & Remorse
– Self-Worth & Self-Esteem
– Self-care & Coping skills
– Recovery Planning Long-Term
What do clients have to say about Savannah?
“Caring and thoughtful”
“Savannah is creative, reflective, and very descriptive in her coaching. She uses fantastic metaphorical explanations and analogies to communicate her message and her answer.”
“Her ability to relate and give hope is amazing. Also her wealth of knowledge.”
“She’s very gentle and understanding and knows when you need it. She has so much info and guidance for relationships and trauma!!”
“She is such a sweet person and easy to talk to.She always has good advice about keeping relationships going.”
“Savannah and Chloe are the perfect pair because they balance each other out. Savannah is still very straight forward, but in a more delicate way. She is super knowledgeable and gives amazing guidance. I love that she opens up and shares her own personal experiences to give us great examples to help us understand something better.”
“Savannah is super down to earth and easy to talk to. Her style is calm and approachable, and I love that she shares her personal experiences–this makes her easy to connect to!”
“Savannah has a softer and more dense strength to her. She is warm and comforting. I feel like Savannah would provide a great shoulder to cry on and give you the space you need at the same time. I feel like Savannah handles all my silly and quirky questions the best. She has had to walk me through some of the most unexpected things. You wouldn’t expect someone to walk you through troubleshooting on your phone, or issues with payment, or difficulties with slack platform but she does it willingly. That’s not all she does, but it’s an example of how she shows she cares even in the little things. I also think Savannah reads me and my betrayal trauma really well and she gives me little nudges to help me along the way.”
“She is sweet, understanding and supportive.”
“Savannah is sensitive in her approach but she still speaks the truth no matter how hard it is to hear. She’s also very encouraging & validates our feelings!”
“Savannah is pretty laid back and has clearly put into practice a lot of what she talks about. I appreciate the stories and the examples she gives and how she finds a way to relate to people.”
“She is very gentle and soft spoken so when things are rough or emotional it is easy to communicate with her.”
Chloe Sutherland, a.s.
Nationally certified Life & Recovery Coach, specializing in sex
The anthropology of sex, of fetishes, of sexual education and sexual intimacy has intrigued me since I was younger.
Sex never came with a manual. It was supposed to be the most natural act on earth.
I’ll be frank, good sex isn’t about frequency… It’s about the freedom. Can you be yourself? Do you accept them? I feel like relationships ask something specific of each individual couple. Every part of your past helps to mold the footprints you walk through foreplay to becoming truly connected.
Naked isn’t just being undressed. Intimacy isn’t just about sex. Many people get lost in complacency in their relationships. Trust, honesty and communication helps make commitment work. If nobody has integrity, then it’s hard to have accountability.
While you can have sex without a relationship, you can’t really have a relationship without sex. I help couples regain the “lost footing” in their challenges with this particular cornerstone because I feel that there is no greater frontier than making marriage work.
I address the following issues with clients:
– Betrayal Trauma Recovery
– SSA Recovery
– Post Relapse Care
– Guilt & Remorse
– Parents With At Risk Kids
– Recovery Planning