GO FROM FEELINGS POWERLESS, HOPELESS, & LOST TO EMPOWERED, VALUED, & CONFIDENT WHEN YOU PERSONALLY DESIGN YOUR RECOVERY LIFESTYLE!
There are 3 Recoveries that need to be addressed in this journey
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The addicts
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The betrayeds
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The Relationship Reconstruction
Choosing Recovery is LIFE CHANGING.
Which means, you’re life is about to change!
People can think “recovery lifestyle” and have images of going to 12-step meetings for the next 20 years pop up into their head, or being in therapy for years on end and just turn away and say, “no thanks!”
Your Recovery Lifestyle doesn’t have to be that!
The beauty of getting into recovery, is that YOU design your own lifestyle!
Yes, YOU.
Imagine ALL the possibilities!
What do you envision your future to be like in recovery?
Are your Recovery Lifestyle goals….
– To Trust Your Partner
– To NOT Have Anxiety When Leaving The House
– To Feel Comfortable and Relaxed Again
– To NOT Have To Be Hypervigilant, Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop
– To Not Be Stressed Over Body Image
– To Not Have To Go To 12-Step Meetings For The Rest Of Your Life
The Goals & Possibilites Are Endless! And They All Come From YOU!
When you’re a private client we go through a list of all the areas that YOU want to address to create your personal recovery lifestyle!
We Address:
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Life
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Recovery
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Relationship Reconstruction
Below Are SOME Common Area’s Clients Have Goals In As They Design Their Recovery Lifestyle
LIFE GOALS
Job + Career
Often, when someone is in addiction, or their partner is in addiction, the job or career they or their partner is in, isn’t the right fit for being clean and sober, or the job they have isn’t their dream career.
Clients can explore their passions in life and their abilities professionally and figure out if they are in the right career for their dream Recovery Lifestyle
Family
Family can be challenging. Let’s be honest, most addicts that struggle from addiction didn’t have the ideal parents at home. 80% of SSA’s™ experience abuse and trauma in their childhood.
Knowing how to discern boundaries with family members, address recovery with family members, and even who to tell and not tell can be overwhelming. Having goals and a game plan for family is HUGE in designing your Recovery Lifestyle.
Because it’s not only your family of origin you want to know how to address, but it’s also creating your new family with your partner.
Finanaces + Budgeting
There are times where finances and budgeting were never skills learned growing up, or maybe the SSA™ spent thousands of dollars on their addiction and now finances are a struggle.
In building your Recovery Lifestyle you might want to address how to be more financially healthy in daily choices, and game planning for the future.
School
It’s not uncommon for clients to come to us where the addict never finished school and dropped out, and is in a job they hate, or where the betrayed partner never finished school and has stayed home raising the kids.
Many times it’s not uncommon for part of the Recovery Lifestyle goals to include going back to school to fill a passion they’ve had, but never got to do.
Friends
Friends don’t always get it. There can be friends you’ve had since you were 5 years old who suddenly turn on you when they sing out you’re struggling with SSA™, or that your partner is struggling with SSA™.
Friends can say porn isn’t a problem, or that you’re overreacting, or the addiction doesn’t even exist, which is invalidation your experience.
These are the people who are not recovery friendly, and learning how to address these situations is key for learning how to be safe in recovery, respect yourself and figure out healthy boundaries.
Health + Fitness + Nutrition
Recovery is mind, body, and spirit. That means you have to take care of your body in recovery. Even if you’re healthy in your eating, are you getting enough sleep? Are you exercising enough?
Many times when someone is struggling with addiction, they don’t take care of themselves. Betrayed partners can also fall into unhealthy habits in trauma as well.
When designing your Recovery Lifestyle, having health goals can really be a game changer!
Parenting
Whether you have kids or are having kids, kids put a huge strain on recovery. Many times the addict has no idea how to be emotionally close to their partner, let alone their children.
Many times, pregnancy can be one of the biggest challenges for couples going through SSA™ & Betrayal Trauma. Addressing parenting goals can be a key part of building their healthy Recovery Lifestyle.
Community
In recovery community is key! Finding people you can relate to, learn from, bond with, and lean on is so important in recovery.
Having safe people to talk to, confide in, and get help from can make this journey easier than if you were alone and isolated. Community can be church, 12-step meetings, recovery groups and so much more. The point is to not be isolated as you’re in recovery.
Addiction thrives in isolation, and Recovery thrives in community
House Responsibilities
Household responsabilities, aka chores! Many times the one struggling with addiction can barely take care of themselves, and can leave their home environment a mess, or leave the responsability to their partner to take care of everything.
When designing your Recovery Lifestyle, figuring out a balanced and healthy way to take care of the home environment is key! You want it to be balanced, fair, and a team effort.
RECOVERY GOALS
Environment, Safety & Sobriety
As you’re designing your Recovery Lifestyle, making sure your environment is safe and trigger free is key to having a successful recovery! Having tons of things that trigger you around can set you back, both as the SSA™ or as the betrayed partner. Taking the time to keep your environment recovery friendly is huge!
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is psychological abuse. Often, SSA’s™ don’t even know that they are doing this, but once they learn, it’s key to STOP the abuse. Many struggling with addiction don’t want to be abusive.
Fetish Cycling & Ogling
Many SSA’s™ have no idea that they struggle with Ogling. They also don’t know the patterns of their addiction and how to figure out whether they are healing and moving forward or staying stuck.
If you’re experiencing Ogling and feeling stuck in recovery, getting help with Ogling will be key in helping you achieve the Recovery Lifestyle you want!
BRoACH
What is recovery without Boundaries, Rules of Accountability, Consequences, and Honor?
Many struggle to create and enforce BRoACH, whether with their partner or others, so learning how to set proper boundaries and consequences is key to successful recovery!
Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem often is a huge area that needs to be addressed in recovery, for both the SSA™ & the betrayed partner. The goals with building self-esteem vary depending on how deeply this has impacted you.
Self-Care, Coping Skills, & Stress
During recovery you are going to need to be able to take time for self-care, learn coping skills so you can handle stress. Many times addicts are in their addiction because they use for stress relief.
Learning skills intead of going back to destructive patterns is key to getting you to your dream Recovery Lifestyle!
Accountability, Responsability, & Ownership
Each person needs to be able to own “their shit” so to speak. Part of recovery is taking ownership, being accountable, and being responsable. With coaching, you get accountability automatically, and we work on the responsability and ownership!
Who Am I?
Often both the betrayed and SSA™ struggle with the question “Who Am I?” The reality is while you’re in addiction or trau,a, that is NOT the real you, and as you go into recovery, you start to discovery the real you.
Summer & Holiday Preparation
Holidays and Summer are HUGE times of year where addicts relapse and betrayed partners end up in horrible pain. Holidays are about family, and family can be a huge trigger. Learning how to handle holidays, plan, and prepare is key to not relapsing and continuing on the recovery journey.
In SSA™, summer can be a horrible time because of the weather and clothes, and it’s a nightmare for the betrayed. Planning is key to preventing relapses and more pain.
RELATIONSHIP RECONSTRUCTION GOALS
Trust
Trust is KEY to relationship reconstruction. Without Trust (and Micro-Trust) relationship reconstruction will not happen.
Sex
Sexual recovery is a huge part of the relationship reconstruction. Learning how to have sex again, in a healthy, safe, and respectful manner cannot be overlooked when entering Relationship Reconstruction.
Structured & Planned Separation
Some couples need time a part. That is 100% okay and can be very healthy, clarifying, and healing. A separation doesn’t mean failure.
The reason why separations have such a bad rep in the relationship world is that people do them WRONG.
There is an effective way to have a separation that can lead you back to each other if that’s the goal of the separation.
Doing a separation without scheduling sessions with coach or therapist can be the worst thing to do in your relationship.
Communication
Learning how to communicate in a healthy, effective, validating, and emathetic way is essential to reconstructing a healthy relationship.
Safety & Respect
If you don’t have safety, you’re not going to have a healthy relationship. Same goes for respect. These are key elements in having a successful relationship.
Stay or Go?
Often the betrayed partner, after D’Day (Discovery Day) has NO IDEA what the hell they want. Do you stay, do you go?
Betrayed partners can be paraylzed, confused, or even jump the gun on this one! When considering your options, knowing that it’s wise to wait 1 full year from D’Day can save you heartache down the line.
You don’t want to make a rash emotional decision like divorce, and regret it later.
You want to make sure you make the right decision for you, and that takes time to process, heal, and come to this decision with a logical head on your shoulders.
Intimacy
Intimacy is NOT sex. Intimacy is an entirely different skill that you need, to then have meaningful, intimate, connecting sex.
Disclosure Preparation & Post Care
Disclosure is a part of recovery. However, disclosures are often botched and biased. Having proper preparation and after care is KEY to avoiding a botched disclosure with a therapist.
Amends
Just as Trust is Key, so is Amends. Without remorse and true amends from the SSA, the betrayed partner will never heal, and thus, the relationship reconstruction cannot occur. If the SSA doesn’t understand the pain they’ve caused their betrayed partner, they can’t move foward until the betrayed partner feels safe, understood, and validated, so they can feel safe enough to move forward with their SSA™.
As a private client, you get to CUSTOMIZE YOUR RECOVERY LIFESTYLE!
Each session is working towards the goals you want to achieve. Depending on how many areas you want to address and the goals you want to achieve, and how often you want sessions can impact the duration of being a coaching client.
Private clients can book a session every single day, 3 days a week, 1 time per week, or 2 times per month depending on their goals, commitment, and personality.
We offer Individual Private Coaching and Couples Private Coaching.
We at The Mod believe it’s important to do individual work in tandem with couples work.
How can you each build and strengthen a marriage when you each are stuck in your own experiences?
For those who do want Individual Coaching and have been working individual recovery, we can plan to start having couples sessions when everyone feels it’s the right time.
I am ready to be a private client!
Awesome! we have 2 coaches and 1 recovery consultant at The Mod that you can choose to work with depending on your personal goals that you’d like to achieve!
Savannah Esposito, B.A. Forensic Psychology
Nationally Certified Life, Relationship & Recovery Coach.
I run an intentional, intensive, high-end coaching practice with my Chloe & Cliff that get clients results.
I work with those struggling from SSA™ and betrayal trauma because of my passion, education, and also because my husband and I lived through it and made it to the other side, when not many truly make it to The Recovery Lifestyle.
I work with both couples and individuals in private coaching.
I address the following issues with clients:
– Betrayal Trauma Recovery
– SSA Recovery in terms of understanding their partner’s betrayal trauma
– Separations
– Relationship Reconstruction goals
– Respect
– Empathy
– Honesty/Transparency
– Communication
– Micro-Trust & Trust
– Post Relapse Care
– Shame
– Guilt/Remorse
– Accountability
– Fighting
– Self-Worth & Self-Esteem
– Being able to be heard
– Self-care & Coping skills
– Recovery Planning
What do clients have to say about Savannah?
“Caring and thoughtful”
“Savannah is creative, reflective, and very descriptive in her coaching. She uses fantastic metaphorical explanations and analogies to communicate her message and her answer.”
“Her ability to relate and give hope is amazing. Also her wealth of knowledge.”
“She’s very gentle and understanding and knows when you need it. She has so much info and guidance for relationships and trauma!!”
“She is such a sweet person and easy to talk to.She always has good advice about keeping relationships going.”
“Savannah and Chloe are the perfect pair because they balance each other out. Savannah is still very straight forward, but in a more delicate way. She is super knowledgeable and gives amazing guidance. I love that she opens up and shares her own personal experiences to give us great examples to help us understand something better.”
“Savannah is super down to earth and easy to talk to. Her style is calm and approachable, and I love that she shares her personal experiences–this makes her easy to connect to!”
“Savannah has a softer and more dense strength to her. She is warm and comforting. I feel like Savannah would provide a great shoulder to cry on and give you the space you need at the same time. I feel like Savannah handles all my silly and quirky questions the best. She has had to walk me through some of the most unexpected things. You wouldn’t expect someone to walk you through troubleshooting on your phone, or issues with payment, or difficulties with slack platform but she does it willingly. That’s not all she does, but it’s an example of how she shows she cares even in the little things. I also think Savannah reads me and my betrayal trauma really well and she gives me little nudges to help me along the way.”
“She is sweet, understanding and supportive.”
“Savannah is sensitive in her approach but she still speaks the truth no matter how hard it is to hear. She’s also very encouraging & validates our feelings!”
“Savannah is pretty laid back and has clearly put into practice a lot of what she talks about. I appreciate the stories and the examples she gives and how she finds a way to relate to people.”
“She is very gentle and soft spoken so when things are rough or emotional it is easy to communicate with her.”
Chloe Sutherland, a.s.
Nationally certified Life & Recovery Coach, specializing in sex
The anthropology of sex, of fetishes, of sexual education and sexual intimacy has intrigued me since I was younger.
Sex never came with a manual. It was supposed to be the most natural act on earth.
I’ll be frank, good sex isn’t about frequency… It’s about the freedom. Can you be yourself? Do you accept them? I feel like relationships ask something specific of each individual couple. Every part of your past helps to mold the footprints you walk through foreplay to becoming truly connected.
Naked isn’t just being undressed. Intimacy isn’t just about sex. Many people get lost in complacency in their relationships. Trust, honesty and communication helps make commitment work. If nobody has integrity, then it’s hard to have accountability.
While you can have sex without a relationship, you can’t really have a relationship without sex. I help couples regain the “lost footing” in their challenges with this particular cornerstone because I feel that there is no greater frontier than making marriage work.
I address the following issues with clients:
– Betrayal Trauma Recovery
– SSA Recovery
– Sex
– PIED
– Divorce
– Honesty/Transparency
– Communication
– Gaslighting
– Post Relapse Care
– Shame
– Guilt/Remorse
– Accountability
– Parents With At Risk Kids
– Recovery Planning
What do clients have to say about chloe?
“She is blunt and tells it like it is”
“I love that she is direct, doesn’t beat around the bush, is very descriptive and knowledgeable, & I love that so much and her field of expertise is based around science and physiology”
“Direct and matter of fact ! Let’s emotion shine through in a positive way.”
“She’s very straight forward with no bullshit, but she will ask if you’re ready to hear the hard stuff or not. She has so much knowledge on sex, and who doesn’t want to know more about sex. I didn’t realize just how much I didn’t know and how unhealthy my sex life has always been until now.”
“She answers every question about sex with dignity toward person asking. No matter what you ask she gives you straight answer no bull.”
“I love Chloe’s no b.s. approach. She tells it like it is. Her knowledge about sex is truly mind blowing. I would have never imagined how complex this topic can be. Everything I’ve learned from her so far has been fascinating. I love that I feel like I can ask her about literally anything, no matter how weird or embarrassing I think it may be. She has an answer for everything and never makes you feel judged.”
“I love Chloe’s directness. She knows her stuff and she doesn’t candy coat anything. I love how sure she is about what she’s doing. She’s no softie–but she is caring and loving. I also love her sense of humor!”
“I feel like Chloe’s coaching style is exactly what I need right now. Because of her areas of expertise she must be direct to purposefully leave no room for misinterpretation. I am so all over the map right now that I need that directness. I need someone to validate my crazy. The way she does it, she makes it ok that I am crazy. I think she knows it’s an integral component to process through the crazy to overcome it. Because it’s Betrayal Trauma. I think she reads people really well and knows I like just a smidgen of detail but not too much to overwhelm me. I feel seen and heard when she coaches me. I feel like I’m allowed to be myself with her watching over me. I feel like I’m finally starting to like who I am and her coaching style & personality facilitates that in me. I love the concrete science she brings to the table because it makes me feel that I have proof I will be ok. I’ve found on this journey this feeling ebbs and flows and to have a rock solid coach watching patiently nearby as I process the journey is pinnacle to my growth. She helps by letting my journey unravel organically while keeping me in the game; gentle nudges. I feel like we are at a tipping point in our healing journey where things are starting to balance back and she helps me want to be my best self through it. I really appreciate everything Chloe does and who she is. And we only get to see a small aspect of who she really is!”
“She is very real and passionate”
“I love how Chloe doesn’t beat around the bush & speaks her mind”
“She is direct and to the point.”
“Straight forward answers with resolution to the information. It is great for me to here the whys and hows. She is great at conveying them. She is also stern when needed and gentle when the topic is sensitive.”
Cliff Sutherland
SSA Recovery Consultant & Peer Mentor
I’ve been a recovered SSA™ for over 6 years, and now I work with other SSA’s™ (Sexual Stimulation Addiction – pornography, masturbation and sex addiction) to help them overcome their struggles with this addiction and achieve The Recovery Lifestyle.
I address the following issues with clients:
– SSA Recovery
– Gaslighting
– Fighting
– Ownership & Accountability
– Honesty & Transparency
– Communication
– Post Relapse Care
– Shame Cycling
– Guilt/Remorse
– Micro-Trust for SSA’s
– Self-care & Coping skills
– Recovery Planning
