The Mod VIP Library

The place with all the books Savannah, Jak, Chloe & Cliff have read in their recovery journey to help get them to where they are today!

Recovery, Relationship, & Psychology Books

*The links are affiliate links, which means at no additional cost to you, The Mod will get a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

 

Love You, Hate The Porn

A pornography addiction can feel like real infidelity to a spouse. There s nothing virtual about the damage done to a relationship, and the wounds are reopened each time a relapse is discovered. As tough as it is to overcome this addictive habit, healing a marriage damaged by pornography is even harder. For spouses, it s not enough for their partners to simply stop looking at porn. They need healing themselves. Some couples separate and divorce. Others stay together, but the strain of unresolved feelings takes a distinct toll. Many wonder, Can our marriage heal? Will we ever feel close again? Love You, Hate the Porn shows couples how to identify and address vulnerabilities in their relationship. Offers healing advice for spouses. Provides help for the struggling partner to avoid relapse. Focuses on how to make the marriage relationship stronger than it was before.

Out of the Doghouse

Get Out of the Doghouse and Back into Your Marriage!

Men and women are very different when it comes to relationships, and this difference is amplified when a man cheats. While men are able to compartmentalize things like casual sex, women typically view any form of cheating as an affront to their entire relationship. They think: “If he is lying to me about sex, he’s probably lying to me about everything.” For betrayed women, trust just flat-out disintegrates. Without proper guidance, men–who are often unaware of the type and degree of pain they have caused their spouse–have little chance of restoring it.

Underneath the hurt and betrayal, usually there is still love. Where there is love and motivation for change, there is hope for the relationship to move forward. Robert Weiss, a nationally acclaimed expert in the treatment of sex, infidelity, and intimacy issues, has spent over 25 years helping couples find peace and healing. In “Out of the Doghouse” he shares his expertise, illuminating the concrete steps men can take to rebuild trust, restore intimacy, and save their primary relationship. He also gives direction to women on how to know when it is okay to move beyond fear, suspicion, and remorse to a place of hope and relationship renewal.

Sex Addiction: The Partner's Perspective

Sex and pornography addiction are growing problems that devastate the lives of partners as well as sufferers. Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective has been written to help partners and those who care about them to survive the shock of discovering their partner is a sex addict and to help them make decisions about the future of their relationships and their lives. First and foremost, it is a practical book, full of facts, and self help exercises to give partners a much needed sense of stability and control. Like its sister book, Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction, it includes case examples and survey results revealing the reality of life for partners of sex addicts.

Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective is divided into three parts. Part I explores the myths surrounding sex addiction and provides up to date information about what sex addiction is and what causes it before moving on to explain why the discovery hurts partners so much. Part II is about partners’ needs and includes self-help exercises and strategies to help partners regain stability, rebuild self-esteem and consider their future. The controversial topic of co-dependency is also explored with guidance on how to identify it, avoid it and overcome it. Part III focuses on the couple relationship starting with the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave. Whatever the decision, partners will then find help and support for rebuilding trust and reclaiming their sexuality.

This book has been written to help partners not only survive, but to grow stronger and move on with their lives – whether alone, or in their relationship. Readers will find revealing statistics and real life stories shared by partners who kindly took part in the first UK survey of sex addiction partners. This book will this book be a valuable guide for partners, but also for the therapists who seek to support them on their journey of recovery.

Recovery Freedom From Our Addictions

A guide to all kinds of addiction from a star who has struggled with heroin, alcohol, sex, fame, food and eBay, that will help addicts and their loved ones make the first steps into recovery

“This manual for self-realization comes not from a mountain but from the mud…My qualification is not that I am better than you but I am worse.” Russell Brand

With a rare mix of honesty, humor, and compassion, comedian and movie star Russell Brand mines his own wild story and shares the advice and wisdom he has gained through his fourteen years of recovery. Brand speaks to those suffering along the full spectrum of addiction―from drugs, alcohol, caffeine, and sugar addictions to addictions to work, stress, bad relationships, digital media, and fame. Brand understands that addiction can take many shapes and sizes and how the process of staying clean, sane, and unhooked is a daily activity. He believes that the question is not “Why are you addicted?” but “What pain is your addiction masking? Why are you running―into the wrong job, the wrong life, the wrong person’s arms?”

Russell has been in all the twelve-step fellowships going, he’s started his own men’s group, he’s a therapy regular and a practiced yogi―and while he’s worked on this material as part of his comedy and previous bestsellers, he’s never before shared the tools that really took him out of it, that keep him clean and clear. Here he provides not only a recovery plan, but an attempt to make sense of the ailing world.

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partner's Can Cope and Heal

Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens’ groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means’ personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors’ lives. Chapters end with “On a Personal Note” questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy.

Intimacy Anorexia & Married and Alone Take Home Program. These programs are a MUST if you are experiencing IA, as working on SSA alone won’t yield the results you desire -to be free of addiction and save your marriage!

Married & Alone (reading book)

Do you feel unloved, disconnected, and alone in your marriage? Is your relationship lacking intimacy or completely sexless, like your partner is just a roommate? Have you tried again and again to get the love you desire from your spouse, only to feel unwanted and neglected? When we marry, we hope to have a life of closeness and connectedness with our spouse, but surprisingly some spouses realize that they feel married and alone after they wed.

If you feel uncherished and untouched inside your marriage, you may be married to someone who struggles with intimacy anorexia. This book unlocks the understanding of intimacy anorexia and shares the experiences of men and women who, like you, have found themselves married and alone. With practical suggestions and techniques to bring about recovery, this guidebook brings healing to those with a lack of intimacy in their relationship. Married and Alone helps you understand why you feel unloved or disconnected in your marriage with tried and true exercises that have helped others successfully work through recovery from their spouse’s intimacy anorexia.

This book is part of the Married and Alone Book Set along with the Married and Alone: Healing Exercises for Spouses workbook and the Married and Alone: The Twelve Step Guide. Rebuild your relationship, regain lost trust, and reestablish intimacy after the damage of your or your partner’s sexual addiction with our guide for sex addicts and their spouses.

Married & Alone (Take Home Program)

This guide will help bring about healing for those impacted by their spouse’s intimacy anorexic behavior. This is the first workbook to offer practical suggestions and techniques to better navigate through this recovery. Within the pages of this workbook, you will find many tried and true exercises that have helped others successfully work through their personal recovery from their spouse’s intimacy anorexia.

Married & Alone (Take Home Program)

This step book is part of the Married and Alone series designed specifically for spouses of Intimacy Anorexics. This step workbook walks the spouse of an Intimacy Anorexic through the Twelve-Steps. These Twelve-Steps have helped many spouses who are married to addicts of any kind gain healing and insight into their own personal journey while healing from the impact of being married to an Intimacy Anorexic.

Intimacy Anorexia (reading book)

Feeling lonely, disconnected, or unloved in your marriage because your partner has stopped being intimate with you? Has your dream of a sacred union turned out to be married and alone? Intimacy Anorexia, the active withholding of emotional, spiritual and sexual intimacy, maybe the underlying pattern in your marriage. However, you can have hope again. Once Intimacy Anorexia is identified, it can be treated. You and your husband or wife will learn:

  • The four causes of Intimacy Anorexia
  • The ten characteristics of Intimacy Anorexia
  • The addiction process of Intimacy Anorexia
  • The strategies an Intimacy Anorexic employs to create and maintain distance in the marriage
  • The tools to stop withholding intimacy, productively build an environment where intimacy thrives, and start being passionate and giving intimacy

This book contains excerpts from other couples struggling with Intimacy Anorexia. Their stories help to communicate hope and healing for Intimacy Anorexics and their spouses. Part of the Intimacy Anorexia Book Set along with the Intimacy Anorexia Workbook and the Intimacy Anorexia Steps Guide, this book includes up-to-date information on sexual, emotional and spiritual anorexia and provides new insights for couples to reignite intimacy.

Be openhearted, in love, sexually fulfilled, and even “in like” with your spouse again. Intimacy Anorexia is real and painful, but it does not have to last forever! Start the journey of recovery today.

Intimacy Anorexia (Take Home Program)

This workbook contains over 100 practical and empowering exercises that Dr. Weiss uses in his practice. These crucial exercises bring hope and healing for Intimacy Anorexics and their spouses. Part of the Intimacy Anorexia Book Set along with Intimacy Anorexia: Healing the Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage and the Intimacy Anorexia Steps Guide, this workbook provides new insights for couples to reignite intimacy.

Be openhearted, in love, sexually fulfilled, and even “in like” with your spouse again. Intimacy Anorexia is real and painful, but it does not have to last forever! Start the journey of recovery today.

Intimacy Anorexia (Twelve Steps)

Intimate Deception

Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that the man she loves has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out.

Drawing from her experience both as a marriage and family therapist and a woman who personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Sheri Keffer walks women impacted by betrayal through the pain and toward recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. She offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers and helps women understand the realities of sexual addiction. And she shows women how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.

Behave

The New York Times bestseller

“It’s no exaggeration to say that Behave is one of the best nonfiction books I’ve ever read.” —David P. Barash, The Wall Street Journal

“It has my vote for science book of the year.” —Parul Sehgal, The New York Times

“Hands-down one of the best books I’ve read in years. I loved it.” —Dina Temple-Raston, The Washington Post

Named a Best Book of the Year by The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal 

From the celebrated neurobiologist and primatologist, a landmark, genre-defining examination of human behavior, both good and bad, and an answer to the question: Why do we do the things we do?

Sapolsky’s storytelling concept is delightful but it also has a powerful intrinsic logic: he starts by looking at the factors that bear on a person’s reaction in the precise moment a behavior occurs, and then hops back in time from there, in stages, ultimately ending up at the deep history of our species and its evolutionary legacy.
 
And so the first category of explanation is the neurobiological one. A behavior occurs–whether an example of humans at our best, worst, or somewhere in between. What went on in a person’s brain a second before the behavior happened? Then Sapolsky pulls out to a slightly larger field of vision, a little earlier in time: What sight, sound, or smell caused the nervous system to produce that behavior? And then, what hormones acted hours to days earlier to change how responsive that individual is to the stimuli that triggered the nervous system? By now he has increased our field of vision so that we are thinking about neurobiology and the sensory world of our environment and endocrinology in trying to explain what happened.

Sapolsky keeps going: How was that behavior influenced by structural changes in the nervous system over the preceding months, by that person’s adolescence, childhood, fetal life, and then back to his or her genetic makeup? Finally, he expands the view to encompass factors larger than one individual. How did culture shape that individual’s group, what ecological factors millennia old formed that culture? And on and on, back to evolutionary factors millions of years old. 

The result is one of the most dazzling tours d’horizon of the science of human behavior ever attempted, a majestic synthesis that harvests cutting-edge research across a range of disciplines to provide a subtle and nuanced perspective on why we ultimately do the things we do…for good and for ill. Sapolsky builds on this understanding to wrestle with some of our deepest and thorniest questions relating to tribalism and xenophobia, hierarchy and competition, morality and free will, and war and peace. Wise, humane, often very funny, Behave is a towering achievement, powerfully humanizing, and downright heroic in its own right.

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook

How millions of PTSD suffers learned to live without fear, pain, depression, and self-doubt

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook, Revised and Expanded Second Edition introduces survivors, loved ones, and helpers to the remarkable range of treatment alternatives and self-management techniques available today to break through the pain and realize recovery and growth.

This updated edition incorporates all-new diagnostics from the DSM-5 and covers the latest treatment techniques and research findings surrounding the optimization of brain health and function, sleep disturbance, new USDA dietary guidelines and the importance of antioxidants, early childhood trauma, treating PTSD and alcoholism, the relationship between PTSD and brain injury, suicide and PTSD, somatic complaints associated with PTSD, and more.

Man, Interrupted

In 2011, Philip Zimbardo gave a TED Talk called “The Demise of Guys,” which has been viewed by over 1.8 million people. A TED eBook short followed that chronicled how in record numbers men are flaming out academically and failing socially and sexually with women. This new book is an expansion of that brief polemic based on Zimbardo’s observations, research, and the survey that was completed by over 20,000 viewers of the original TED Talk.

The premise here is that we are facing a not-so-brave new world; a world in which young men are getting left behind. Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Coulombe say that an addiction to video games and online porn have created a generation of shy, socially awkward, emotionally removed, and risk-adverse young men who are unable (and unwilling) to navigate the complexities and risks inherent to real-life relationships, school, and employment. Taking a critical look at a problem that is tearing at families and societies everywhere, Man, Interrupted suggests that our young men are suffering from a new form of “arousal addiction,” and introduce a bold new plan for getting them back on track.

The concluding chapters offer a set of solutions that can be affected by different segments of society including schools, parents, and young men themselves.

Filled with telling anecdotes, results of fascinating research, perceptive analysis, and concrete suggestions for change, Man, Interrupted is a book for our time. It is a book that informs, challenges, and ultimately inspires.

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.

Young children deserve to be armed early against internet dangers. Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. makes it easy for parents to protect their young kids ages 3 to 6. Using gentle, age-appropriate messages, children will learn to Turn, Run & Tell when they are accidentally exposed to inappropriate content.

Written by best-selling author Kristen A. Jenson of the original Good Pictures Bad Pictures book, the Jr. version is a comfortable, effective way for proactive parents to empower their young kids with their first internal filter!

Good Pictures Bad Pictures

Want a natural and comfortable way to talk to your kids about pornography? This newly revised edition of the original bestseller makes that daunting discussion easy! Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a read-aloud story about a mom and dad who explain what pornography is, why it’s dangerous, and how to reject it.

Featuring easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, this internationally-acclaimed book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains.

With Good Pictures Bad Pictures, your child will never be caught off guard by disturbing videos or peer pressure! The 5-point CAN DO Plan™ teaches kids exactly what to do to protect their young minds when they see pornography.

“I am so grateful for this book! It was a great way to talk to my children about pornography without that awkward, uncomfortable feeling.” Lisa

Parents don’t need to wonder what to say–simply read Good Pictures Bad Pictures to your child and move forward with confidence! You can even use this book before beginning the sex talks!

Check out these new features in the second edition.

  • “Let’s Talk!” discussion questions at the end of each chapter help kids deepen their understanding so they’ll be even more prepared to reject pornography.
  • All new Tips for Parents and Caregivers section offers practical advice for raising porn-proof kids in the digital age..
  • The most up-to-date science provides kids with even more powerful arguments against pornography.
  • A beautifully redesigned interior makes it easier and more fun to read!

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
 
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
 
Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else.
 
Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

The Relationship Cure

From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work.

Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:

– Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”
– Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection
– Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids
– And more!

Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.

What Makes Love Last?

A world-renowned relationship expert shares his research about love and what it takes to develop a trustful, intimate, and emotionally fulfilling bond.

In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love and shares the results of his famous “Love Lab”: Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.

The Man's Guide to Women

Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man?

Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love.

The Science of Trust

An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage.

For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.

Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.

Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.

This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

The Seven Levels of Intimacy

We all yearn for intimacy, but we avoid it. We want it badly, but we often run from it. At some deep level we sense that we have a profound need for intimacy, but we are afraid to go there. Why?

We avoid intimacy because having intimacy means exposing our secrets. Being intimate means sharing the secrets of our hearts, minds, and souls with another fragile and imperfect human being. Intimacy requires that we allow another person to discover what moves us, what inspires us, what drives us, what eats at us, what we are running toward, what we are running from, what self-destructive enemies lie within us, and what wild and wonderful dreams we hold in our hearts.

In The Seven Levels of Intimacy, Matthew Kelly teaches us in practical and unforgettable ways how to know these things about ourselves and how to share ourselves more deeply with the people we love. This book will change the way you approach your relationships forever!

Hold Me Tight

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world.

In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

Love Sense

The bestselling author of Hold Me Tight presents a revolutionary new understanding of why and how we love, based on cutting-edge research.

Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our “love sense” — our ability to develop long-lasting relationships.

Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, Love Sense will change the way we think about love.

%d bloggers like this: